Fantastic Contraption is a fun online flash game where you need to use the laws of physics to move an object to the target area, like this (click ‘play’, ‘continue’, and finally ’start’ to set things in motion).
DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKSEN.
IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.
Dr. Henrik Svensmark found the following correlation between incoming cosmic rays (blue) and the average temperature of the sea (red):
Quite a correlation, isn’t it? The light blue bars indicate when the earth moved through one of the arms of the galaxy. These arms cause an increase of cosmic rays, and Dr. Svensmark proved that these rays - when they hit the water - are responsible for forming clouds, which in turn cool the earth. So because the earth moves through an arm of the galaxy, we get cold.
Link to very helpful article, link to a brief overview of the results, link to a documentary about this theory.
A large simile
[Motorcycle cuts him off on the highway. The motorcyclist is kind of fat with his shirt blowing up.]
Dad: What the hell does this fatass think he’s doing?
Mom: Watch your language!
Dad: But look at this guy! Like the Autumn Moon festival!
Me: What??
Dad: Look at his ass hanging out! Autumn Moon festival! FULL MOON!
The thoughtfulness of Asian parents
Dear Kevin,
Happy birthday! Buy yourself a birthday present.
Dad
Meat mistake
KFC Worker: Welcome to KFC, can I take your order?
Mom: Yes please, can I have one bucket of chicken?
KFC Worker: Sure! White or dark meat ma’am?
Mom: Duck!? I don’t want duck! I want chicken!
Identity crisis
Me: sup
Dad: sup
Me: whats up dog
Dad: I am not dog
Gaseous road rage
[While driving with my dad, someone cuts us off]
Dad: Fart the horn! Peter, fart it!
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: (more…)
“People who don`t like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn’t have such funny beliefs.” Unknown
“The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to sail.” Gustaf Lindborg
“The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown
“Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.” Unknown
“Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence.” Unknown
“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” Seneca the Younger 4 b.c.- 65 a.d.
