1. Ask them why they are bitter against God.
2. Tell them that if there’s no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
3. Ask them to pray with you.
4. Invite their children to go to church with you.
5. Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
6. …
7. …
Maybe a little bit too bitter, but some made me laugh anyway.
At Cleverbot.com you can talk to a computer program. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be very clever yet:
User: Do you know the difference between white and black?
Cleverbot: Yes I know the difference. User: Tell me. Cleverbot: I have ears. User: That’s not a very good answer. Cleverbot: Yes. You think I am christina : I lied. User: My my, the turing test is still way off for you, now isn’t it?
Cleverbot: The cuisine is more sweet than Biblical. User: You call yourself clever? Cleverbot: Hell yes I do. User: Because a point about the turing test implies a reply about cuisine and the bible? Cleverbot: What the heck? User: Ok, simple things then. Cleverbot: Like? User: Nice weather, hey?
Cleverbot: Very nice!
User: Has it been this nice for a long time? Cleverbot: About 7 years. User: 7 years of nice weather - wow. You are one lucky bot! Cleverbot: We don’t have ‘food’, only Mars bars. Cleverbot (To myself): I love Mars bars.
In international environments, such as Geneva, you will encounter people from many different cultures and backgrounds. Without proper precautions, encounters with people so different from yourself might quickly go awry. Having observed interactions between many people for a while, I was able to compile the following list of tips to ensure smooth sailing in a sea of sensitivities. Note that this list only contains only genuine items - techniques tried in practice. All of them have been observed, not made up, it all really happened, and I was lucky enough to be present to bring you these gems of diplomacy.
Tips for people from …
Check your passport to see if any of these tips apply to you.
China
Cook and eat like in you’re in China, preferably while other people are trying to eat.
Explain that Falung Gong members are involved in politics and not just religion. Proceed to say that therefore it’s logical that they’re being persecuted.
Germany
Ask someone for his or her nationality. Remind them how many days it took the Nazi’s to conquer that country.
USA
Make sure your presence is noted. Use your accent to alert a whole room or train at once.
Mix in “y’know”, and “like” when speaking a language other than English to make things clear.
Act surprised whenever somebody has never heard of something only found in the US.
Upon encountering people from…
Once you’ve figured out the nationality of whomever you’re talking to, use the following tips to get a conversation going. (more…)