“Show them to me”
As sung by Rodney Carrington
No-one thinks of fighting, when they see a topless girl
Maybe if you’d show yours too, we could…
…saaaaave the world
Archive for the ‘funny’ Category
Mar
8
Feb
25
Feb
15
Statistically correct love song
In honour of yesterday’s Valentine day: Tim Minchin’s “If I didn’t have you”. A cynical, statistically correct love song. The engineer in me appreciates this 
Lyrics:
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Jan
21
Jan
20
Dec
25
Dec
14
Dec
4
Nov
26
Nov
25
Muppets do Bohemian Rhapsody
More Muppets! This one is truly genius.
It’s part of an all new (!) series of Muppets clips, available on YouTube.
Nov
23
Nov
12
Nov
12
Shit my dad says
I think this is the first time I ever found something funny on Twitter. Some guy is twittering things his 73-year-old father says, and it’s hilarious:
“Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i’ll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing.”
“The dog don’t like you planting stuff there. It’s his backyard. If you’re the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar….Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2″
“Here’s a strawberry, sorry for farting near you…Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that’s the deal.”
Nov
12
Doomed relationship Gantt chart
More unconventional charts and graphics at Lunchbreath’s Flickr-stream.
Nov
9
Oct
26
Oct
25
My conversation with Cleverbot
At Cleverbot.com you can talk to a computer program. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be very clever yet:
User: Do you know the difference between white and black?
Cleverbot: Yes I know the difference.
User: Tell me.
Cleverbot: I have ears.
User: That’s not a very good answer.
Cleverbot: Yes. You think I am christina : I lied.
User: My my, the turing test is still way off for you, now isn’t it?
Cleverbot: The cuisine is more sweet than Biblical.
User: You call yourself clever?
Cleverbot: Hell yes I do.
User: Because a point about the turing test implies a reply about cuisine and the bible?
Cleverbot: What the heck?
User: Ok, simple things then.
Cleverbot: Like?
User: Nice weather, hey?
Cleverbot: Very nice!
User: Has it been this nice for a long time?
Cleverbot: About 7 years.
User: 7 years of nice weather - wow. You are one lucky bot!
Cleverbot: We don’t have ‘food’, only Mars bars.
Cleverbot (To myself): I love Mars bars.
Oct
4
Mingling in the international community
A friend of mine wrote this:
In international environments, such as Geneva, you will encounter people from many different cultures and backgrounds. Without proper precautions, encounters with people so different from yourself might quickly go awry. Having observed interactions between many people for a while, I was able to compile the following list of tips to ensure smooth sailing in a sea of sensitivities. Note that this list only contains only genuine items - techniques tried in practice. All of them have been observed, not made up, it all really happened, and I was lucky enough to be present to bring you these gems of diplomacy.
Tips for people from …
Check your passport to see if any of these tips apply to you.
China
- Cook and eat like in you’re in China, preferably while other people are trying to eat.
- Explain that Falung Gong members are involved in politics and not just religion. Proceed to say that therefore it’s logical that they’re being persecuted.
Germany
- Ask someone for his or her nationality. Remind them how many days it took the Nazi’s to conquer that country.
USA
- Make sure your presence is noted. Use your accent to alert a whole room or train at once.
- Mix in “y’know”, and “like” when speaking a language other than English to make things clear.
- Act surprised whenever somebody has never heard of something only found in the US.
Upon encountering people from…
Once you’ve figured out the nationality of whomever you’re talking to, use the following tips to get a conversation going.
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Sep
29
Great rant
I’m not really an Apple hater, but I immensely enjoyed this rant:
“I admit it: I’m a bigot. A hopeless bigot at that: I know my particular prejudice is absurd, but I just can’t control it. It’s Apple. I don’t like Apple products. And the better-designed and more ubiquitous they become, the more I dislike them. I blame the customers. Awful people. Awful. Stop showing me your iPhone. Stop stroking your Macbook. Stop telling me to get one.
Seriously, stop it. I don’t care if Mac stuff is better. I don’t care if Mac stuff is cool. I don’t care if every Mac product comes equipped a magic button on the side that causes it to piddle gold coins and resurrect the dead and make holographic unicorns dance inside your head. I’m not buying one, so shut up and go home. Go back to your house. I know, you’ve got an iHouse. The walls are brushed aluminum. There’s a glowing Apple logo on the roof. And you love it there. You absolute MONSTER.”
More (highly recommended )
Sep
28
Sep
17
Sep
17
Sep
16
Sep
15
Aug
26
Jul
16
Jul
10
Holy rave party
The only way a Southern Baptist Convention makes sense
This is genius
There are two more, but I prefer this one.
Jun
27
Jun
19
Jun
9
Star Trek meets Monty Python
Monty Python’s Camelot song performed by the original Star Trek cast:
Via Neatorama
Jun
4
May
28
May
17
May
8
May
6
May
4
Apr
29
Kevin Smith talks about Superman
Kevin Smith (from Mallrats, Dogma, and Clerks fame) is a very talented story teller. Here he talks about a Superman movie he was asked to write… absolutely hilarious
Apr
28
Apr
22
Apr
18
