Make the pie higher!

By akie

A poem constructed with words uttered by former US president, George W. Bush.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

And yes, he really did say all of these things

6 secrets of persuasion

By akie

(in dutch)

Lees “De zes geheimen van verleiding“. Verplichte kost!

Pikkel en de wop

By akie

Someone showed me this nonsensical Dutch poem/story.

De pikkel en de wop.

Een wop mufte zijn frinse fruin.
Een pikkel beunde snerp in de fruin van de wop.
Groes mijn bale fruin! Loeg de wop biest.
Mijn fruin is frins.
“Proest gedaan!” makkelde de pikkel.
“Mart jij benedal geen lijpjes?”
“Ik mart geen rotse pikkels,” slokte de wop biester.

It is used for language education, but apparently that’s not a very good idea. I like it anyway

Handegg

By akie

There’s no such thing as “American Football”:

Original

Funny quotes from asian parents

By akie

MyDadIsAFob.com and MyMomIsAFob.com blog about funny things asian parents say:

A large simile
[Motorcycle cuts him off on the highway. The motorcyclist is kind of fat with his shirt blowing up.]
Dad: What the hell does this fatass think he’s doing?
Mom: Watch your language!
Dad: But look at this guy! Like the Autumn Moon festival!
Me: What??
Dad: Look at his ass hanging out! Autumn Moon festival! FULL MOON!

The thoughtfulness of Asian parents
Dear Kevin,
Happy birthday! Buy yourself a birthday present.
Dad

Meat mistake
KFC Worker: Welcome to KFC, can I take your order?
Mom: Yes please, can I have one bucket of chicken?
KFC Worker: Sure! White or dark meat ma’am?
Mom: Duck!? I don’t want duck! I want chicken!

Identity crisis
Me: sup
Dad: sup
Me: whats up dog
Dad: I am not dog

Gaseous road rage
[While driving with my dad, someone cuts us off]
Dad: Fart the horn! Peter, fart it!

Word plays

By akie

Woordkaas has some clever word plays… in Dutch.

WTF stamp

By akie

Found on Flickr

Inappropriate uses of the word ‘Fuck’

By akie

Funny Chinese signs such as these can apparently be partly attributed to errors in translation software. Hilarious pics included.