A large simile
[Motorcycle cuts him off on the highway. The motorcyclist is kind of fat with his shirt blowing up.]
Dad: What the hell does this fatass think he’s doing?
Mom: Watch your language!
Dad: But look at this guy! Like the Autumn Moon festival!
Dad: Look at his ass hanging out! Autumn Moon festival! FULL MOON!
The thoughtfulness of Asian parents
Happy birthday! Buy yourself a birthday present.
KFC Worker: Welcome to KFC, can I take your order?
Mom: Yes please, can I have one bucket of chicken?
KFC Worker: Sure! White or dark meat ma’am?
Mom: Duck!? I don’t want duck! I want chicken!
Me: whats up dog
Dad: I am not dog
Gaseous road rage
[While driving with my dad, someone cuts us off]
Dad: Fart the horn! Peter, fart it!