Ridiculous Amazon customer reviews

The customer reviews at Amazon’s product page for uranium ore (wtf??) are delightfully ridiculous:

Reviewer:

I ordered a bunch of cans of this, and still couldn’t get my time machine to work. I can’t wait to get back to 1985 and my hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, I’m stuck working at the Cafe 80s, dammit.

Response:

Time Machines run on Plutonium not Uranium. thats just silly.

Response 2:

You probably connected the Neirmann capacitors wrong on your flux capacitor. They should contact just a few centimeters above the Stendrand coils, but still below the containment field for the fusion material. Uranium ought to work as well as plutonium, the fission material is for collection of free quarks, not any sort of classical power generation.

Link

Funny quotes

Usually I don’t really like lists of quotes, but this one is quite funny indeed:

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
– George Carlin

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
– George Carlin

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
– Plato

Link

Robert Green Ingersoll #2

Ok, I couldn’t resist – another quote by the great Robert G. Ingersoll. Why doesn’t anyone know this guy?

“The notion that faith in Christ is to be rewarded by an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason, observation and experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for refutation, and can be relieved only by that unhappy mixture of insanity and ignorance, called “faith.””

Robert Green Ingersoll, The Gods (1872)

Robert Green Ingersoll

The Cynical-C blog introduced me to Robert G. Ingersoll by means of this rather provoking quote. From this day on, this (dead) guy is my hero.

“According to the theologians, God, the Father of us all, wrote a letter to his children. The children have always differed somewhat as to the meaning of this letter. In consequence of these honest differences, these brothers began to cut out each other’s hearts. In every land, where this letter from God has been read, the children to whom and for whom it was written have been filled with hatred and malice. They have imprisoned and murdered each other, and the wives and children of each other. In the name of God every possible crime has been committed, every conceivable outrage has been perpetrated. Brave men, tender and loving women, beautiful girls, and prattling babes have been exterminated in the name of Jesus Christ. For more than fifty generations the church has carried the black flag. Her vengeance has been measured only by her power. During all these years of infamy no heretic has ever been forgiven. With the heart of a fiend she has hated; with the clutch of avarice she has grasped; with the jaws of a dragon she has devoured; pitiless as famine, merciless as fire, with the conscience of a serpent: such is the history of the Church of God.”

Robert Green Ingersoll – “Heretics and Hericies” (1874)

Some googling turned up this nice page of quotes, and it seems most of his work is online too.