Make the pie higher!

A poem constructed with words uttered by former US president, George W. Bush.

by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

And yes, he really did say all of these things 🙂

Pikkel en de wop

Someone showed me this nonsensical Dutch poem/story.

De pikkel en de wop.

Een wop mufte zijn frinse fruin.
Een pikkel beunde snerp in de fruin van de wop.
Groes mijn bale fruin! Loeg de wop biest.
Mijn fruin is frins.
“Proest gedaan!” makkelde de pikkel.
“Mart jij benedal geen lijpjes?”
“Ik mart geen rotse pikkels,” slokte de wop biester.

It is used for language education, but apparently that’s not a very good idea. I like it anyway 🙂

Funny quotes from asian parents and blog about funny things asian parents say:

A large simile
[Motorcycle cuts him off on the highway. The motorcyclist is kind of fat with his shirt blowing up.]
Dad: What the hell does this fatass think he’s doing?
Mom: Watch your language!
Dad: But look at this guy! Like the Autumn Moon festival!
Me: What??
Dad: Look at his ass hanging out! Autumn Moon festival! FULL MOON!

The thoughtfulness of Asian parents
Dear Kevin,
Happy birthday! Buy yourself a birthday present.

Meat mistake
KFC Worker: Welcome to KFC, can I take your order?
Mom: Yes please, can I have one bucket of chicken?
KFC Worker: Sure! White or dark meat ma’am?
Mom: Duck!? I don’t want duck! I want chicken!

Identity crisis
Me: sup
Dad: sup
Me: whats up dog
Dad: I am not dog

Gaseous road rage
[While driving with my dad, someone cuts us off]
Dad: Fart the horn! Peter, fart it!